I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
