laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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