i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We had to coat check the pizza.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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