I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
How external is "for external use only"?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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