I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize