I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
