party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
