I am in a vortex of obligation.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
