watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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