Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
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