pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
