If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
