Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
