Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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