I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize