C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
