Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My friends, they love my intelligence
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
