his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
