I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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