I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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