im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize