I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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