Are we in a gay sports bar?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Come on in and take your pants off
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