is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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