I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
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