He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
