That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
