is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
