did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
