But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
