The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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