Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
