Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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