All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
