Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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