Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's shark week go big or go home
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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