You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
