During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
