We're facebook friends in real life
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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