so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
