spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
