I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
