I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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