There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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