Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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