dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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