Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
