dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
