Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
