I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
