Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
