"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
