Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
and she was petting her beer can
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
