ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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