you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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