how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize