If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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