Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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