wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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