Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
