turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
