real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
