Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize