This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
either way he was missing a nipple.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
