please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
