chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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