in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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