he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
