she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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