I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
