i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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