he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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