What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
